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What is a hoople?
I'm hearing that word a bit lately.

Well, friends, Lambert seems to be on the hunt.

The hunt for a chick. Hungry, like the wolf, I bear onward, stumbling through uncommitted flirtation.

A girl came in today, to Jay's. Actually, I lie; she came in before me. A nice young thing with Gill's new name, and my sense of humor. She reminded me of anything and everything I could like.

As usual, she was straight, potentially taken. Even Jay digs her, commenting that if she wasn't so young, and he so married, she'd be his type. I don't know her too well, but, I felt that rising urge to want to make a good impression.

I'm not feeling too sad.

Taylor's got Asian James; Sarah's got Aaron. Lindsay's got Adam. Toby's got Brad. Shivanee's got Lesedi.

It's only Andrew and I who are still single, really, out of my close friends. I image even Jon will find someone, soon. Jon's got a skinny-Adonis body, and a cutesy-Asian face. It's a damn weird combination, but, it's gunna make some guy really like him, someday.

Gay Kyle has Isadore.

Mom's single now; we can bitch together. She'll talk about Troy, I'll reminisce some more about Darren.

Ah, Darren, did you kill my potential for ever dating again? You and your curse: "You'll find girls to be exactly the same." As in, I'm not attracted to you, ergo, girls won't thrill me either. Fat Pregnant Girl got me a little thrilled. If not for her horrid personality.. and moaning my name during sex.. and her being so fat her vag had a pouch above it.. maybe that wouldn't have been so disasterous.

I admit, Darren, you would have scowled, and laughed wickedly, all at once, had you heard of my Hermaphrodite misadventure. Yeah. Man. You were never ugly. She was. In every way. Still? I wouldn't have preferred either of you to each other. I left you to pursue sexual enjoyment/fulfillment. You could have stayed as my friend. I never would have made you a good baby-mama/housewife/cash cow, and you damn well know it.

I wish the Hermaphrodite incident had never happened. That alone convinces me that my sexual urges are evil, urging me to fuck nasty people. Desperation, 101.

Granted: you know how my sexuality is. I only get it up 4-5 times a year. You rarely wanted to please me. It was more about you, when it came to sex. You can't cure lesbianauge with your methods.

4-5 times a year I can handle. There's 1-2 times I seek outside support. Hence Fat Pregnant Chick and Hermaphrodite.

Again: I get my best love from a lubed stir-stick.

Fuck other people. Figuratively.

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*DISCLAIMER
* WHO TF IS ALL THIS??!
* INTRO, 2
* NAQ

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Circa 2010