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Today
Was a quick day.

Went by Jay's, because my book came in.

Ended up staying there pretty much all day. That wasn't so bad; he said to come back soon[er than the next order would take; which would be like 5 days].

This visit was nice. Not so awkward as one a bit back, where 3 of us stood around in silence for a good 30 minutes.

I was telling Sarah that it's damn nice that someone wants me around. Sarah and Jay are the only friends I have actively glad to see me. Family seems interested, but rarely call without a reason. Mom's getting better at keeping in touch with me. Anni never will; she's not the phone-type. I call her on a weekly basis.

I haven't talked to Grandma in a while. No reason; just been busy around the times I normally call her. I might see if I can work for $200-ish sometime; it looks like Lev's computer estimate keeps climbing. What sounded like a $400 package deal sounds more like $1000 now. He doesn't seem to "get" that I really am shit poor. $100 a month? Couldn't handle $50/mo for music. Either I shell out my savings, or it goes somewhere else. Other things to pay.

I keep being told I'm gunna get fleeced. Scammed. Ripped off. If Lev takes my $300-ish, and disappears, it's my fault for trusting someone to make a shortcut for me. A friend of 10-ish years wouldn't scam me for a mere $300, would he?

I could rely on Josh, maybe, if Lev keeps running around with these ideas of fancier computer parts than I need. Josh could prolly get me something close to what I'm looking for.

But then, Lev would prolly get mad at me for going to someone else.

Just can't win, can we?

But, about the Jay stuff: things are going well; I mark my social skills on his feedback. He echoed the doctor: "You're doing way better!"

Is it sad that I'm so awestruck by the fact that my presence is being requested? Maybe it's just me; everyone's kind of avoided my sorry ass for 2 years. I guess that's what I get for becoming a babbling psycho for a while. At least I can firmly say it wasn't my fault.

It's odd. I'm not used to being liked anymore.

For that matter: being trusted is something I'm unfamiliar with. Jay got me to go on a coffee-cream run a few days back, when I didn't sleep. I'm slowly becoming someone Jay can put to use around the store. I'm not at a store-sitting level, but, maybe one day? With the aid of a calculator? Ah, what odd little things I wonder about.

I need to read faster; that's one thing that comes to mind whilst I visit Jay so frequently. Read faster, damnit!

Now I've lost my flow.

Fuck.

You Missed:

*DISCLAIMER
* WHO TF IS ALL THIS??!
* INTRO, 2
* NAQ

Backlog:

Circa 2010