And the alien did decree: "what a charming bastard I am"
Eegah, I feel damn lonely. It's a different lonely than last night; last night was about wanting to share a revelation. Tonight is about having no one to call while I feel sad. I don't want to impose. Most of all: I don't want to cry at someone. I went swimming with Cherish. Physically, it was a little blah because we stayed in the shallow end. Socially, it was blah because I did almost all the talking. Yeah. We're back to that nonsense. This is precisely why I don't want to call for outside reassurance. It would just be me, rambling about being sad and alone. To which, I suspect, I would be told to go outside. Ah, yes -- and do tell, where the fuck am I supposed to go? I want to break from the internet a little. But, it's all I have. No one in my immediate surroundings wants to deal with me. I know, that sounds odd, considering what a charming bastard I am here, right? I am very much on my own here. I'm alone, and not coping. I wish I could call Grandma. I wish she'd actually talk to me. Real interactions have left me feeling wanting, much in the way the internet chats have left me. I have no one stimulating, or sympathetic. I wish it was earlier in the day, so I could call my fucking mom. She wouldn't make me feel better, but, a mom's better than no one, right? I hate being so sissy and weak all the time. Jesus fucking Christ, I am a whiny bastard. No wonder people leave me alone. |
You Missed: *DISCLAIMER Backlog:
Badly type text - Wednesday, Jan. 01, 2020 Yet another other entry - Sunday, Dec. 29, 2019 Damn near died - Sunday, Dec. 29, 2019 Boom Shalacka Lacka? - Saturday, Dec. 28, 2019 Circa 2010 |