And the alien did decree: "that beard-picture fuckin' looked like home"
5:17 PM - Friday, Mar. 19, 2010
Before the nonsense, & After the bullshit.
Hey, Johnny Park! - Foo FightersI have a tendancy
To ramble when I'm nervous.
I called a few people, after I dragged my ass out of bed; I wasn't getting back to sleep, and I wasn't interested in being bed-bound all fucking day.
I accidentally called Anni, when trying to call Kah-ri.
Kah-ri got back to me first; I told her about the potential transgender issue at hand. She rambled a little, herself. There was a lot of talk of trans meetings, informational videos.. pamphlets. It sounds odd, but it made me think of those Disneyland commercials. COME VACATION, WITH FACIAL HAIR. Bohemian, for sure.
I spent 3 hours hopping around the internet, seeking out answers to my hormone questions. I forget; it's either likely to come out as $10/wk, or $10/mo.
Selected pro/con list:
CON:
- Bathroom and changing rooms
- Am I ready for this/is this what I really want/Am I strong enough?
- Stress potential
- Diabetes, liver, cancer possibilities
- Increased libido
- Bone loss
- Mental patient issues; mood swings
- BO changes, or increases
- Family and friends may be alienated
- Social acceptance = nil
- Will have to explain this for the rest of my life
- Won't resemble Jodie Foster anymore
- Mom will blame herself; Caesar will exacerbate
PRO:
- Facial/body hair
- Male characteristics: voice, muscle mass, facial structure
- Tits will MAYBE go away with hormones and exercise
- May be more settled; less depressive
- No more periods, within 5 months
- Potential for an excuse to own a strap-on
- I already own a bit of male clothing
- I'm not scared of PAP-tests; could stroke my beard during, for good luck
- Will look like a blond version of my dad
- I won't have to fend off male attention
- Would for all intents and purposes exist as a male creature, therefore eliminating my Man Envy
- I would kind of look like Silent Bob's Dante
Why I SHOULDN'T:
- This is going to hurt like a sumbitch
- My mental state sucks as is
- This could be intensely bad for my physical health: people will beat my ass; take a self-defense class..?
- I'm scared as fuck already
WHY I SHOULD:
- I have never wanted to be a woman
- I always wanted to grow up to be manlike
- I doubt I'll ever be happy in a woman body
- I need to take charge of my happiness
- GROW SOME BALLS, AL-AM!! *Ahem* I mean.. your clit...
- I have never struggled hard enough for anything I've needed
- Because that beard-picture fuckin' looked like home
Before the nonsense, & After the bullshit.
