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So;
Been a while, again, hey?

Okay, so last time: was all in the me-zone of figuring myself out.

News from there:
- Had a lot of sleep-dep days
- Got my HST cheque; blew it on fabric, and books
- Made myself a killer rainbow-pixel vest.. hand-sewed that fucker, because I couldn't bring myself to dick with the tension on my machine. Took 12 hours to sew.. fuuuuuuck
- Don't seem to have too many issues with sleep-dep anymore
- COULDN'T BUY THE MOTHERLOVIN' 7LBS DICTIONARY BECAUSE AMAZON WANTS ME TO FIND SOMEONE WITH A JAPANESE ACCOUNT FIRST.. D'AWWWWWWWW
- Am ordering a kanji dictionary, via Jay; we'll see how that puppy fares
- Got Brad off my case; he bounced to a Mindy, bounced to Sierra
- Started reading/buying The Walking Dead set
- My Crime of the Century (Hal Higdon) book came in; now I've got all 3 of the really important Leopold and Loeb books

And, then, we come to today.

I hung out with Brad all day. That went mostly well. The music store down in my area wants $100 for a guitar case. I think I will be going elsewhere. Brad and I will be splitting that cost. I'm gunna see if we can find somewhere that will sell one for closer to $40. We have almost all the stuff to give Cherish the guitar. All I need now is a chord list, or something, and the case. We restring the guitar for her, once we take it from Brad's.

Maybe, if she had a guitar, she'd come over and play with me.

I'm thinking up some new band names for myself. I think it's my turn, since Lisa's Substitute doesn't work for Cherish, and neither of us want to use Sinovia again. I was thinking "Bill's Anecdote", or "Willy's Anecdote". Or The Anecdote, or, whatever. I'm still working on it. I kind of want to put one of Cherish's crazy baby-names on it, like Deveyln, or Ryein. We'll see.

And now, we get to the part that started this entry:

I have this funky poof-hat, that I got from the thrift store. Lots of people really seem to like it. I lucked out.

Today, I sat down at the bus stop, by a lady. At first, I thought she might be retarded. She was playing with an electric sweeper. PJ pants, keys around her neck. She really liked the hat, and kept calling me pretty/beautiful. I really don't like that kind of thing.

I think she was probably a schizophrenic, or something.

Long story short, she was kind of freaking me out. Mostly, she was really happy, and laughing. I don't really get why she was wigging me out. Some part of my head suggests it's a fear that I've been like her before, and could be again. It was very classic; every person who came near her, she'd chortle about the sweeper, and give an enthusiastic demonstration, and blabber about needing to "energize" it.

When the bus came, I was really hoping that she'd get on a different one. She didn't. I had to sit near her, and I kept twitching, getting tense, clenching my bag.

Eventually I moved. Unfortunately, I sat in a spot that had a better view of the teen who looked like Darren. I could still hear the lady laughing away. So.. I kept thinking about Darren; I recently read journal entries from that time period, and have concluded that all the happy things about that relationship were mostly in my head, and, that I held my wishful thinking of him to the standard of our first nightwalk. I also kept thinking about how I wanted that lady to go away.

I got off, and she waved at me. A lot. My whole face felt pinched, trying not to make a bad face at her.

I hummed 'John-Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidtt' all the way to Mom's, to calm me down. For some reason, that seems to click with me, pretty well.

Anni was out front, taking off with the kid. She'll be back around midnight.

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Circa 2010