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So;
I called the cops on myself, last night.

Second time this year.

I started off, getting pissy at Cherish. (Or, did it start with the realization that my friends are separating, and my grandma is dying?)

Cherish, if you end up reading this: I was pissed off because you were being lazy. You make enough to camp in a hotel for a month. Srsly; you LIVE in a hotel.

I started getting madder, when James started reminding me about Aaron's incessant "let's take [Lambert] to a bar, and get her a wasted bar-slut" shit. Apparently, Aaron fails to notice that I feel revolting about having had my 1-night stands/obviously didn't get the memo that I don't actually enjoy sex that much/missed out on the part about me wanting a real relationship.

I ain't gunna find Miss Right in a bar.

But, anyway.

Started spazzing at James. He boogied. I suddenly realized I was getting out of control, couldn't sit still. I turned off my music, and tried to make a smoothie. I started pacing, and freaking out. Took my meds.

I tried calling Taylor. MH. Decided to try the cops.

A cop came. Then an ambulance came. I went to the hospital. I guess I have an official MH worker now, because the dude I talked to last time showed up.

I was so depressed that I barely wanted to move. I knew that this would lead to nothing. I wouldn't see a doctor. Nothing would change. I was mad that I wasted everyone's time, and that nothing actually happened.

I saw a dude from school, at the hospital. I hid behind my hands. He recognized me anyway, and left me alone.

The MH dude gave me a ride home. That was nice of him. I saw the guy from school, in the parking lot. Wanted to shout something at him, but didn't think of anything clever.

At least I barely joked about the situation, this time.

I woke up today, continuing the depression.

Hoboy.

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Circa 2010