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I'm feeling
Kind of fucked up.

More or less, just pissed off.

Cherish has started making excuses again not to come and see me. I don't know why I bother asking if she'll come out. It's only the last 4-or-so times that I've asked. But, still.

I'm in a funk because my Buffy episodes went from a hint of random to all-out depression-fest. Somehow I still can't demonize (ha?) Spike for his obsessiveness with Buffy; the details seem contrived. The emotion responses he has clicks with me.. so much so that his "shrine" and "Buffy doll" seem like puffed-up details. They seem added in to give him a psychotic edge. Personally, I think they should have stuck with the lovesick underdog approach.

And then the mom dies.

Somehow I'm less moved by the death, and a lot more interested in the reactions it produced. Kudos, crew.

I keep wondering if the actress wanted out, or, if this was deliberately scripted this way. Added, I keep wondering if she'll magically come back. A Buffy relieved of Dawn, and Mom? What kind of girl would that make?

Ah yes, a far improvement from the Initiative bullshit.

But, enough.

I'm pissy partly because I'm hating my MSN right now. I haven't had an opportunity to tell Lauren that she ain't my kind of girl. She still thinks I'm gunna stay over the night. (And, what, look over a dildo catalogue?)

I keep thinking that she'll want to put a move on me, and I'll be stranded 1 1/2 hours from home. She wants me to take the bus out there. I don't feel rich enough, and, lack the motive.

Ah, thanks, POF. Whenever I need to feel alone in the world, I go to POF, pick up some illiterates, and wish to fuck I'd cut this shit out.

But, but, but.

I'm in an off mood. Soon I will sleep. Don't really feel like it, but, hey? What else am I gunna do, really?

At least my crocheting project is going well...

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*DISCLAIMER
* WHO TF IS ALL THIS??!
* INTRO, 2
* NAQ

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Circa 2010