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So:
A few days later.

I saw my shrink on Monday.

I think I've greatly underestimated her. She insisted that meds (some of them, anyway) aren't what are going to fix me. She insisted that I need to do these social training/therapy things she keeps telling me about. My only angle of defense is that MH cockblocks every effort Dr. P and I make to improve my mental standing. She didn't believe me, but, she will now -- the doof she called to set things up DIDN'T WRITE ANYTHING DOWN, and asked ME if I knew what Dr. P was trying to get me in to. Incompetent twat...

Okay, so, Dr. P, amidst all the usual ramblings about lithium, all these times, has been working on things -- sending notes, making calls, faxing shit. I'm not kidding when I say that MH has outright ignored our efforts. The mental health community here sucks my nonexistent nuts. They might as well disband MH outright, for all the good they do this city. The shrinks are overburdened/useless; MH is a self-proclaimed "referral system"; therapy is only really done in groups.

Dr. P figures lithium isn't helping me at all. I AM, admittedly, under the minimum dose suggestion. But.. it's not controlling my moods/staving off depression. I keep thinking of the whole Kurt Cobain rah-rah about lithium being a world-of-butthurt kind of drug. Maybe he was on a more heroic dose than I am. Either way -- it stopped me from being a hyper/depressive wad in the beginning. Ah, thank ye, Risperidone, for wiring me the fuck up...

So -- plays out like this:
- I see a councellor in August
- I seem to have bypassed the group-therapy first rule, with said therapist
- I'll be off lithium someday soon
- My antidepressant has been doubled
- I'm upped .25mg again with Risperidone

Re: last entry --
- I bugged out, as usual
- Have recently had people confirm that my paranoias are odd/more people agree that therapy would indeed be nice, if I could obtain some

Last SS meeting --
- Was a little agitated
- Was torn between differing sets of people to pay attention to
- Aus didn't finish drawing his picture
- Jon didn't explain the trend of his new MSN pictures (wherein he seems overly risqu�)
- Ended up hanging out with Gay K for a while; found it a little blah

Today:
- Camped out at Jay's store
- Scared out only 1 customer, this time
- Couldn't manage to work the coffee pot without making an irritating mess
- Jay commented that I take things too seriously (ie: taking things too personally)
- Sort of felt like we danced around the situation, a little, again
- He tells me my Berserk (4-5) will be in within the week (but I can only afford the Bill Hicks book this time)
- Found out that I must have paid Hydro twice, because Shaw bill was huge
- Will be making Sarah dinner

These point-by-point entries feel like montages, almost. Fuck.

You Missed:

*DISCLAIMER
* WHO TF IS ALL THIS??!
* INTRO, 2
* NAQ

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Circa 2010