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I seem to
Never have a hold on moods.

I'm in a kind of midstate, mood-wise.

I had another one of those incomplete-feeling Jay visits yesterday. Basically, I spent the whole day reading "Koba the Dread" in Jay's personal chair; he roamed the store, putting away that day's catch.

Was he stoned? Just tired?

Either way, ol' buddy boy was none too talkative. Granted, I talked less, read a lot more. Even he commented that I was buzzing through "Koba". He let me take it home, at the end of the day; I still intend to buy it. I suppose I was a little miffed at myself to commit to it, like it, and prolly miss out on some food because of it.

Altogether, when the 2 other Berserks come in, I will have spent about $50 in Jay's store, on this paycheck. Berserk = $16/ea; "Koba" = $10; Chomsky = $10; Japanese books = $10. I am so shit out of luck for saving any money this month.

It's not just Jay I spend money on. I've ate at cheapo restaurants a few times, too.

I still have to report my tax stuff to Welfare. I don't see why -- it's government money, anyway. But, alas, as I know from before: the government doesn't communicate with itself.

I'm feeling a little unsettled.

There was a lady in the store I talked to; I ended up dropping the, "I'm gay, crazy, and fucking chatty!!" shit on her. Though, in my defense, I managed to stop myself a lot. But then -- why was I telling some random lady about my finances, and my phone call with Stepmom? That's wholly unrelated.

It's stuff like this that crushes me; I'll never be normal, if my insanity persists on reinserting itself in to my life on a regular basis.

You know what else peeves me? Guys telling me, "Well -- you do that, because you're a girl; it's natural," to stupid things. People give me their old shoes; I forget that I have them -- oh, well, I'm a girl, of course I have too many shoes. I'm not sure what I want? Well -- I'm a girl! Of course I don't!

Women are indecisive, simple-minded packrats. Yes. I see.

Fucking hell. And men wonder why I cringe when people feel compelled to remind me of what genitals I got stuck with. "Because you're a girl" has got to be the most asshole-ish explanation for half the shit I ask people lately. Fuck off, would ya all?

(And I wanted to join the ranks of We With Dicks, because..?)

I'm just moody, moody as hell.

One moment I'm heavy, blank, and laden with doom. Next, I'm frenetic and bleak, all together. A brief wink of clarity comes in, and I ruin it by seeing the end of Blackadder Goes Forth. Fucking hell. Not what I needed.

And now I'm officially running out of shows again.

Babylon 5 is drawing to a close -- this seems to have taken the longest to watch.. 2, 3 years?

All my various Japanese programs are sort of losing their appeal to me. I can't do anything tactile, like eat my grapefruit, or knit, watching something like Darker than Black -- but, mostly because I don't actually have a high enough resolution to play it, so I'm madly watching subtitles. I guess I'm not watching much else.

As for Black Adder -- I only really liked the second season. Maybe 3rd a little. 4th was trying. Too much of only Atkinson having any smarts. Maybe that got old too quick. While I do prefer Atkinson with a regular voice.. I missed the more "period" bits. WWI seemed.. well.. bleaker. Especially since I remember a little of the plot of that war. That final ending was.. well, it tugged at my little depressed heart. I presume all the characters died (in that scene). It was nice seeing Hugh Laurie somewhere preceding House. I really liked the whole premise of a snide booger reappearing in various guises throughout history.

Goes Forth was a break from the royalty stuff, too. It works.

But. This is getting ramble-y.

You Missed:

*DISCLAIMER
* WHO TF IS ALL THIS??!
* INTRO, 2
* NAQ

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Circa 2010