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I had a horrifying thought,
While coffee-rambling to Lev.

What if I do the transman thing, and become the Steve Buschemi of gay males?

Lev thought I was a little too jovial about the subject of trans-ing. I imagine I'd feel the same, if he'd had my sense of humor with things: dildo jokes, gay name puns.

We came up with some fun ones:

- Your pal Mal was a gal
- Bill used to dress in frills
- Fred had a vagina once, instead
- Jake didn't always have a rake
- Rodney's box smells like cod
- Leo used to be a she, oh!
- Leonard traded in for nards
- Nicholas was a lass
- Jack didn't always pack
- Andrew's junk is new
- Zack no longer lacks
- Will used to have nil
- Ben didn't always have the yen / Benjamin Uranus
- Chris now stands to piss
- Jake used to bake
- Charlie's Harley is fake
- Sam used to be Pam
- Trevor takes up a new endeavor
- Drew grew a manhood late

Joking aside, new favorites of the night are Leonard, Frederick/Fred; though, I totally just realized that Fred/e/rick is my dad + grandpa.

The new game is European names, traditional spellings. Meaning troubled, royal, or warrior, if possible. M//L/N names seem to still favor.

I'm pussying out over some of the names I like:

- Richard: dad, kindergarten friend
- Markus: variation of my homophobic uncle
- Leonard: would the caretaker be flattered I adopted his name, or weirded out?
- Malcolm: as much as I like it, I can't ram in to the flow/no one likes it

I was lamenting to Lev that transmen/gay men have this pun or Chuck Steak thing about names. Or ghetto-spelling. (Good god, we GLBT folk as clique-y. Last year it was teen bisexuals.)

You end up with stuff like:

- Amanda (m-t-f)
- Truman (f-t-m)
- Angus Lancelot Smith
- Krystoffer Kayden Smith

I'm a linguistic prick, so, of course, I'm stalking the internet for a Chuck Steak name for myself. Lev said, "Jean-Claude Van Damme?" Totally picking up on my 'my heroes have names that don't flow with my last name' issue.

If I get disowned, I could totally roll with the Malcolm J. Truman thing. It's gay, and Chuck Steak. What'd the J. stand for? I forget now.

I've got Cherish on my side, so, we're pouring through baby name books, targeting non-unisex Chuck Steak European names. Gotta admit, Callum was the least manly of the bunch. ("Dove".) Carlin (fighter) being appropriate, and fitting with William (Hicks); lacking flow. For someone who feigns ignorance about poetry, I seem to have this undying need to have a good, solid name.

What other CS names did we play with? Patrick kind of came to mind; don't actually know any, right now; unless you count Neil Patrick Harris. Not like he isn't fabulous; he's just not someone I worship/would name myself for.

I was poking through Stephen King character names. Didn't see anything.

Frank came up: Frank Dux (Bloodsport/Van Damme). Maybe I should find the name of the crazy cop from Until Death. Naw; nothing jumping out at me there.

All while I do this name hunt, I keep thinking of Jungle 2 Jungle:

Dr. Patricia Cromwell: "His name's Mimi-Siku. Roughly translated, it means 'cat piss'."
Michael Cromwell: "He chose the name 'cat piss'?"
Dr. Patricia Cromwell: "He was six years old at the time! Its a territorial thing."

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Circa 2010