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So.. we find me today, at my second ex-boyfriend ever's place. Oddly, not in any like kinda kinky level. Just.. came here to demo a sewing machine (which never happened), and to see if I could get the password right to a terabyte that died in 2016. The ex is fairly skilled with the tech shit, so I assumed Dinoputer's noggin was safe here, and, likelier to be recovered by a techie friend, or something other than being taken to a shop. Not like there's illegal crap. Just.. I held the terabyte for years, not knowing if it was ok, or retrievable. Pouring money at it would have been an option if perhaps the "artisan for sale" crap had been anywhat successful the last.. almost 4 years...??

The ex seems like a wisened, and tired version of the kid I met in high school. It's weird to think of how he seems buckets of lifestuff ahead in some ways (travel, languages). I'm mildly amused at the idea of this prematurely exhausted-with-life fella here, when thinking of me & my current boyfriend. We're like kiddults. Such.. babies. It's like seeing adventure in the flesh, and saying, "Well.. that looks like fun. We're gunna live vicariously." Whereas, my ex clearly looked at adventure and dashed into the fray.

I'm dismayed only that I'm nervous about how I seem to possibly look, to the current beau.. so many exes and male friends. Dammit, "Maury", for alerting me to how this looks. If not for this, perhaps my mind would still be naïve. I'm jealous of that former ignorance!!

I try, as one might, to be a decent-ish girlfriend. If I felt that anything bigger was going to happen with any of these dudes than being pals.. I would be telling my current guy. I could not live with the idea of wronging my current guy.

I get his nervousness. Tonight, I can't sleep partially because this is an ex's place. I've not had an ex near me overnight since I harbored a ex/ friend who needed a night away from where he lived. That was a while ago by now.

I had an ex of mine ruin his birthday last year. I figure it's mildly ironic (?) An ex appears, yet again, days after current boyfriend's birthday. This one seems much less worrisome, and malignant...

I'm thinking I'm here at least until the guy wakes up, or, the buses happen. Bus goes by in close to an hour. Dude here sleeps 4-esque hours. I presume it's a close race between him rising and me, bus-riding.

Sometimes I think the universe is challenging me somewhat.

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