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And the alien did decree: An ADD CD on a skip
1:41 AM - Thursday, Feb. 06, 2020

Before the nonsense, & After the bullshit.

Not only did my background come back.. but, also old pages that had previously been dead (several years' worth).


I'm not sure wtf changed! But, I appreciate it, whatever has happened!!

My luck always seems to come in spurts of good and bad. I had a lot of both, in the beginning of the year. I've got an itch to collect harem pants, and somehow unlock the secret to comfy, handmade pants. The dropped crotch appeals.. the fatter I get, the more I really wish I had looser clothes. I started looking to Indian fashion, but, having held their obviously homemade, family tradition patterns.. this is still out of my league. (And the ((?)) salwar shirts are way too tightly-fitted to be flattering to one with an obviously oversized food-baby belly...) I was fortunate enough to recieve 4 complete outfits, the shirt, pants, and fancy scarf. Yet.. I want to make my own. I'm not quite that clever yet.. but awfully close. I need someone like my mom or someone like that to give me some idea of customizing the idea to my own uses.

It's either that, or I make a bunch of dud pants, and a few possibly fitting shirts, if I can get a more elastic-y fabric than a silk, as opposed to say, a traditional shirt would call for. I think I need stretchy fabric, and may regret it.. Or will need elastics in the waists and bottoms of the pants. No idea.

I almost had a job, but must have flunked some part of the interview. Not sure what, but it's a number of possibilities. In any case, finding a new job is proving difficult, no matter what I chase. That was the furthest I've gotten in years -- inquiry, resume, interview.

With my memory obviously getting noticably worse, I'm looking through the odd entry in here, and wondering WTF possessed me to be so open, and random -- youth? Innocence in some sense? A feeling of freedom of expression, apparently... I see I was a dumbass, but I was a funny little shithead.

I guess humor is the main trait I keep, in a life where I'm always a creature of ever-changing moods, whims, goals, and spree spendings.

I'm a hoarder -- why am I buying more shit? Mostly, because I'm getting rid of *some* of the older, broken shit. Specifically more so broken -- or, things that don't strike me as something I'm going to want to dig out in my place at any given hour soon. Getting new stuff seems like a cycle of changing stuff for most people, but for me, it's more like I accrue extras of things I like above the others. Like.. I have.. 3, 4 watercolor painting sets? Ranging from a 12-pan to a 42-pan. These I justify by the fact that I HAVE had 2, plus me painting in my home before. It was a rare event.. but I won't stand down from such a stupidly rare event needage. THAT is just one example of me collecting the fuck out of something.

I recently had a brainwave that I'm done being the typical "at home with an online store" failure that most of us are finding ourselves being, being replaced at work by robots or underpaid college kids. There's supposedly a fleet of online jobs, but I'm not finding anythig beyond a "YOU pay US to work here" type scams.

I'm done, absolutely DONE with doing multiples of some complicated object, which often goes unsold, undersold, or given away to friends and family in a final opportunity to get rid of the stupid bullshit I make all day, slaving away, for no one. That's the main of the brainwave.

I'm not a great artisan, mostly due to my omnivorous approach to hobbies. I'm not selective, focused, and getting main shit done -- what, what at all do I get DONE anymore..?? These binderpedias are a neverending chore that I both enjoy and dread when I find main files taken away from main stuff.

I just recently got a chance to try a digital tablet for the first time in a decade. The doodle I did was decent, but the kind of thing I would expect of the timing: it was like 2, 4 AM, I was impatient, and I just wanted to do a quick little doodle. What I used was a really great FREE drawing program, called "Krita" -- this thing likes my new Linux OS; it seems more picky about the boyfriend's copy; it wanted a tablet, I think.. it refused to function with a mouse, which was disappointing.. because I have his tablet, and likely will, while he waits to approach buying a brand new one for himself.

POINT BEING; it was like this: they have a comic page section, which seems really basic.. they have 4, 5 different templates, but two are basically the same. I used one of them, the manga standard, I think -- it was a basic little thing, but the thing that amused me was you CANNOT draw in to the border lines -- I was gushing for like an hour about Krita to the boyfriend, as I was testing it. He responded with getting bored enough to escape to gaming 😅 can't say I blame the guy.. even I wonder why anyone listens to me when I get in tangents of lost punchlines and lost conclusions, all of which hop around like an ADD CD on a skip.

Wellp; I think based on seeing what my background looks like -- I may tone this down, or leave it. Comment, anyone, if anyone thinks this is eye-rapingly bright (I believe it once was a reddish yellow eyeplosion, many a year before, current theme is another 90s-esque MSPaint creation I made, circa 2008-10, only it's the early version of a "darkmode" page now..)..?

My boyfriend is sleeping right now, and sometimes, he looks sooooo much like an overgrown Anne Geddes wallposter photograph. I think I love to watch him sleep.. because who wouldnt want to draw someone who looks that sweet and artistically posed?

Normally I give no shits about babies. I got a hysterectomy, just to make extra-extra sure to stay a barren creature. This Baby Yoda craze kinda irks me, but I'm sure in 10 years, I could reverse decision, & like it. I've given up on Star Wars for most of its history, so, to me catching up on some of the latest stuff is too easy to "Mystery Science Theater 3000"-ish comment over top. It bugs the boyfriend how I do this. I'm kinda trrible for commenting aloud what I think of commercials, directing my statements in expectation of them listening, and me getting a point to some paranoid expectation of reaction by my devices to things I say -- this seems univerally true, so, I can't help but talk as if it knows.

I also talk to my talktherapy app as if I expect mods, etc, to watch over what's being said. I've voiced a lot of things I'd like for the app, and several of those things have come to happen.

Anywhoo.. this feels LONG.

Before the nonsense, & After the bullshit.


You Missed:

* INTRO, 2


fascinating and tiresome - Thursday, Mar. 12, 2020
Congrats, to that little asshole - Friday, Mar. 06, 2020
... - Saturday, Feb. 15, 2020
Stupid shit like this - Saturday, Feb. 15, 2020
Fuckin' mailthief...!! - Tuesday, Feb. 11, 2020

Circa 2010